Unable

Last year, when my family and church traveled to camp in Medora, ND, I was too afraid to climb to the top of the butte nearby.

I made it halfway up, and then my youngest son’s exuberance and aversion to caution met my fear of heights. I sat down right where I was and waited for help.

It felt a little silly as I watched young children and elderly people hike their way to the top, but my fear made me unable to continue on.

This year, my husband made it his project to help me overcome my fear. (Go ahead and insert a chuckle here.)

As the day of climbing dawned, I read Psalm 94. Tucked away in that Psalm of praise is verse 18: “When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up.”

Evening came, and we left the children happily eating smores by the bonfire at the foot of the butte. I put my hand on my husband’s shoulder, repeated Psalm 94:18 to myself, and walked all the way to the top.

Heights still make me nervous, but it wasn’t the paralyzing fear of the year before. As we stood by the cross at the top of the hill gazing into the sunset, I knew the victory of being unable to do something in my own strength.

When Jesus told us, “Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened to you,” He knew all our inabilities.

The one who has all the answers never asks.

The one who knows everything never seeks.

The one who is already at home never knocks. 

He knew our inabilities and so commanded us to look to Him for help.

Prayer is what we do when we do not have all the answers, when we do not know anything, when we are far from home, or when we cannot climb the next hill. We turn to One who is able, One who can. His name is Jesus.

While at camp, we worshiped by singing a song called “Goodness of God.” One line of that song says, “I love Your voice. You have led me through the fire, and in the darkest night, You are close like no other. I’ve known You as a Father. I’ve known You as a Friend, and I have lived in the goodness of God.”

I looked around at my church family while we sang that song. We are a group of unable people. We have been unable to stop addiction, unable to keep custody of our children, unable to stay out of jail, unable to be humble, and unable to climb mountains, but we have lived in the goodness of God. He has changed us and given us His ability.

Because He is able, we worship Him with a sacrifice of praise as we sing, pray, encourage one another, and hike up mountains. He is so, so good.