Rusty Repentance

Snirt is an old plow truck.

My husband bought it, and my children named it after the substance that results from the mixing of snow and dirt. Neither the truck nor the mixture is very pretty.

Snirt is a 1984 Ford 350, and I don’t know what color it used to be, but now, its color is rust.

I am not exaggerating when I say that you can see the road whizzing by beneath you when you plow.

I know because last winter, while my husband was out of town, I had to learn to drive and operate Snirt. It was a daunting task, but I was very proud of myself (and my sons who helped me) as I gazed over the cleanly plowed churchyard. 

I am older than Snirt, and I often feel a little rusty these days. I acknowledge the rust that gathers in my joints, the gray in my hair, and the smiling wrinkles by my eyes. However, the rust I deny the existence of is my rusty repentance.

As I age, I find myself thinking that if I’ve repented once, I’ve repented a hundred times, and what’s the use of doing it again? I’ve already been sorry. I’ve already been forgiven. I’ve already moved on.

But repentance doesn’t work like that. Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, I’d better break out the oiling can because a Christian has no time or business allowing his (or her) repentance to get rusty. Obviously, our capacity to sin stays in good working order with no rust at all.

I think my repentance gets rusty when I lose sight of the face of Jesus. My sin doesn’t seem so bad when my attention is distracted by the world. However, when I turn back and gaze into the gentle, kind face of the suffering Christ, my sin is death. My idols are impotent. My self cannot escape the crushing weight of the reality of sin, no matter how hard I work.

It’s then that I stop. It’s then that I turn. It’s then that I scrub the rust off my repenting muscle and reach for the Lord’s hand. 

And He helps me to see that my rusty repentance is as good as the rusty plow truck. A rusty plow truck can still plow the churchyard perfectly. Rusty repentance can still bring us back to the One who offers forgiveness as a free gift. 

Jesus’s original message was “Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” To repent was to have a change of mind, to turn back from the wrong course of action. 

We can’t let rust gather. We need to strengthen our will and ability to repent by humbly asking God to help us and then be willing to turn. 

Just like the plow truck, we have to bow low to get the work of repentance done.

Then, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as the snow.”