Running on Empty

I still had fourteen miles to go before I ran out of gas- plenty to make it to the gas station seven miles away.

I swung by and picked up a young teen in need of encouragement, and off we went. When my van gave a little shudder on the last turn, I wondered why I am always running on empty.

1. I am too busy to stop and get gas.
2. I am irked that gas runs out, so I ignore the gauge. (Why can’t it be a never-ending supply?)
3. Gas is expensive.

I filled the tank as my young friend stared at her phone screen. I realized that I was dealing with more emptiness than just the gas tank. 

1. I had been too busy to stop and read my Bible.
2. I am irked that I can’t do-it-all, and I ignore all of my internal gauges.
3. Worship is expensive. It costs me.

The truth is, I hadn’t “filled up” from the Lord’s endless supply of peace, patience, love, hope, truth, or joy. The unrealistic demands of summer ministry had completely tapped my reserves. I was running on empty.

Just as I know that the remedy of an empty gas tank is stopping to get gas, I know that spiritual emptiness requires the filling that only comes from time spent worshiping the Lord.

Worship costs, though. 

It takes my time. I have to squeeze it in somewhere between getting dressed and breakfast. 

It takes my attention. It isn’t something that can be multi-tasked, like pickling cucumbers or doing laundry. 

It takes my surrender. This is the one I really don’t like. Surrender has such a negative connotation. I immediately think of Appomattox Courthouse, my grandmother giving up her car keys for good, or losing at chess.

Worship demands surrender. See how easy it is to drive right past the gas station?

Well, later…

When I can give God my full attention…

I’m really not that empty…

I’ll have enough next week…

And put…put…put…. we’ve sputtered to a stop, and tonight is Sunday School!

I reach for my spiritual gas can (read “Bible” into the analogy here), and I set out very humble on proverbial foot to surrender to the One who always amply supplies my need. 

When spiritual emptiness occurs right in the middle of religious busy-ness, I am tempted to try to refill with any old idol I come across. Oh! Would you look at what’s on facebook? Wait! I was going to watch just one more episode. Oh yeah! I needed to message so-and-so about who is cooking what for potluck. I set down the gas can to gaze distractedly at roadkill.

These may distract me from the distasteful surrender, but they are about as useful as filling the car’s gas tank with syrup.

Worshiping Jesus fills the hungry soul with good things. He turns a desert into pools of water, parched land into springs of water.

Next time I’m running low, I’ll surrender sooner.